The Chew Test

At the local pet food store, I find myself explaining why I won't buy any more plush toys for Kafka. "He destroys them all within minutes. First the squeaker comes out, then the tag, then the stuffing. The toy itself is shredded last." The store owner, a woman in her forties, made a face and spoke up: "If you don't provide him with toys, he will turn YOUR things into toys."

I took a look at their display. Some of the toys they sell have several layers and are sewn quite well. One expensive toy company claims to test their toys with tigers. But in small print, at the bottom of the label, you will find that none guarantees their toy against determined, aggressive chewers. Their toys, as it turns out, are not to be used as chew toys. In other words, if you find your dog chewing on them, you are supposed to remove the toy. These toys are made for dogs that fetch, not schnauzers.

So we've instead invested in rope and rubber toys. He destroys the squeaker inside any rubber toy immediately, but at least the toy will have a few more hours. We found a nylabone that lasts about a week. Synthetic rope works best, as it cannot be shredded into long strings that end up in his intestinal tract. And that is actually why he does not have toys that come apart. Like many schnauzers, ours is a master swallower. If he suspects his toy will be taken away and it fits in his mouth, down the esophagus it goes. Good thing that he has either pooped or thrown up everything he's ingested. 

I waited for a minute before responding to the store owner. "Well now that you mention it, he does seem to have a thing for glasses. I'm on my third pair."

How much do they hunt?

I ran out of breath. It was raining softly. The hill was simply too steep and slippery for me to continue climbing. Below me, deep in the ravine, I could still hear the clink-clink of Kafka's tags as he looked for a way to reach the cat (now perched on a branch) he had pursued a minute ago. I knew that if I called his name, my one-year old would know I was still waiting for him and would take his time coming out of the oak grove. No, my best strategy was to pretend I was walking back to the car.

A couple of minutes later I saw him coming out of the north side, his head scanning the horizon from side to side. He was clearly looking for me. I crouched but it was too late. Having spotted me, Kafka happily trotted back to his magic kingdom, too much fun to be abandoned for a mere primate.

Just what is it that makes Standard Schnauzers stop listening when hunting is involved? Many other dog breeds were developed to be hunting companions. Several breeds were developed to rat, so Standard Schnauzers are not unique. But here lies the detail: Standard Schnauzers were not really bred to aid in the human hunting agenda. They were developed to kill rats and other vermin on their own as farm dogs. Read no soft mouth, no delayed gratification, no holding at bay. Read great focus and determination, and little regard for human needs when something as exciting as a chase is taking place. The folks at Carabella describe this powerful instinct:

Standard Schnauzers go nuts over squirrels. Just say the word squirrel or bunny
and they start looking. Mine have killed moles, rabbits, rats, other rodents of
which I have no name, and, unfortunately, birds. My foundation bitch, Bella,
brought me one rat. I screamed and hollered, so that was the last rat I saw. She
also used to bring dead birds to me and I would always tell myself that the
"bird had to have been sick". Then I saw her catch a bird -- a cat couldn't have
done better. She especially loved to catch crows. Fortunately, she is the
only dog who has ever brought me a bird but I do find them chewed on in the
yard. The Standard Schnauzers we live with today ignore the parrots but I don't
know what they would do if the parrot was on the floor which sometimes happens.

So why had I not found this when we were doing our research on this breed? Could it be that I had glossed over the subtle warnings found on the breeder websites? We live on the border between a very urban area and a semi-rural city, next to a regional park where cows, coyotes and mountain lions coexist. This means Kafka looks for and chases small animals on every walk he takes. I wondered if he is one of those standards with a very strong prey instinct.

Twenty minutes later, I scanned the edge of the grove, but could not hear anything anymore. I had walked too far. I finally saw him again from the top of the hill. This time, he was digging for gophers and ignoring my calls, something he seldom does. Ok, time for Plan B. I had to scramble all the way down the hill to where he was. I knew that if he found a critter near the surface, this would hold his interest unil I could leash him. But by the time I got there, no gopher had dared to tease him. He was still pacing, still in hunter mode. I pretended to find something interesting on the ground. I took out the real liver I take on off-leash outings. I even announced I was leaving. But the hunter mode in a Standard Schanuzer is very strong. I could not persuade this puppy who had been so good in his obedience classes to get near me.

Cursing my decision to take this path, I waited until he passed me close enough, tackled his 60 pounds and got a hold of his hind legs, then leashed him to my body. We trodded uphill, both of us muddy and wet. Slowly, Kafka morphed back into domestic dog, politely sniffing the ground by my side, never pulling or falling behind. By the time he climbed in the truck next to me, he was exhausted.